I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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