TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
