Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
