to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
pop tarts are not kleenex
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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