and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
