Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
