i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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