My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED