i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im holly from the hills drunk
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt