You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
