my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize