would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
