We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
