Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
