You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
