Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
