You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
