There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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