Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
