Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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