There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
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I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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