I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
