let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
