sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
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I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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