its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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