she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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