I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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