took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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