I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
