i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
