he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize