The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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