sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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