I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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