nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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