You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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