I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
