I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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