We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
