Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.