Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.