remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION