i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.