it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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