I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize