I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
