so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
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It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
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I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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