you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
