RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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