yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.