1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
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Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.