i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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