Why does Corona taste like a burp?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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