she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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