is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
