dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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