And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
