Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
