I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Couch. On fire.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
