just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Are we still banned from the library?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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