No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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