The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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