Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
